I don't remember what it was for. Some sort of very important celebration, I'm sure. It's better in the summer when it's hot, but of course it's that much harder to get ice when it's hot out, as well.
Oh, we have ships and cows and knights and ladies. Wizards, monsters. Witchers. Do you know what a witcher is? Most people don't seem to.
That is the tricky thing! But at least we have refrigeration. I bet we can make it happen!!!
Oh, that's very exciting! Witchers, is that anything like witches? But don't be too worried about it, most people haven't heard of any of the stuff from my world. Bending, and just all of the animals. I still can't believe that no one knows what a crococat is!
You're dead?!?!?? That's the sort of thing you should tell a guy! No wonder you think about him. I think about the guy who killed me way too much. I wish I could stop sometimes!
But it's not like dead-dead. It was here-dead. But even so. I'm sure dead-dead makes it even more awful. I'm so sorry Renfri! I had no idea.
[ And he will in face do his best to draw a crococat, off screen ]
[Oh. Well. She's glad he clarified, so she didn't just inadvertently out the two other people she's aware of who fit the "possessed by the devil" description around here. Hm.]
It doesn't matter. A sword will kill anything it crosses; steel doesn't discriminate.
[Or silver, she thinks passingly, and swallows the thought back down.]
You'd tell me, if you were in danger from someone like that again?
Yes, but someone has to be using that sword. People do.
[ He's concerned, but he won't push, not quite yet. ]
If I can, I certainly will. That time, I wasn't given the chance to do anything about it. I almost got to Mako, but this man, he was just teasing me. I was almost at Mako's house when he grabbed me and we flew away, out to the outskirts of the town.
There was really nothing anyone could do. I hope I'm never in that situation again, but I've accepted that I might be.
Exactly. I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. I wasn't the only person he killed, either.
I've been the target before, and this was better, if deadlier. Well, maybe not "better" so to speak. It was less devastating because it wasn't about me, it wasn't because of who I am.
[ At least, that's what he likes to tell himself. ]
I HAD clued in to that, what with all the business with that rock snake.
...It's strange, you know. Everyone here has had nothing but generosity for me, even though I've done nothing to warrant it. I don't quite know what to think of it, sometimes.
Well, in the dream, it really felt like us Sleepers against the world. One of the first things I learned there is that Sleepers look out for each other. It isn't always true, but a lot of us really take it to heart. We've all had awful horrible things happen to us, that wasn't our fault at all. It's the fault of this place.
And you saved my from the snake! You didn't know me. You didn't have to. Are you sure you're not doing the same thing?
I'm not used to counting on the generosity of others. Loyalty's one thing, but not kindness. And as for why I saved you...I don't know, really. Because it's what that witcher would've wanted, maybe. Me, being better than I'd been.
The witcher, like the one that killed you? Why would you do something he would want you to do?
But you said you're a princess. When I was a prince, my whole life was at the generosity of others. [ That's sure one way to talk about tax money, boo ] It was because of my title, sure, but even so. I was protected because of it.
Mmhmm. That's what happens to princes who are valuable. Well-liked. And ones who don't have stepmothers with their own little princes and princesses who see you as standing in the way of their children's throne.
The world has never been kind to me, and more often than not I was unkind right back. I was always the only one looking out for my own survival, so...I was fine to leave others to look out for theirs. When everyone around you decides something about you, and treats you as though it's true...after a while, you stop wondering whether it's true or not, because it doesn't matter. You're being blamed for it whether you are it or not, so you might as well just embrace it. There comes a time when you just stop fighting it.
The man who killed me wanted me to give up the path my life was on, and start over, and be something better than what the world had made me. And I was tired of everyone else telling me what I was supposed to be, so I stayed what I had become, and he put me down.
Imagine how it felt to wash up here, surrounded by well-meaning people encouraging me to start over and be anything I wanted to be here in Trench. It felt like a horrible joke. Even dying hadn't gotten me out of the world making decisions for me.
...That was a lot, wasn't it. I shouldn't have rambled on, you needn't worry about it.
No, no, it's okay!!! That really helps me understand you better.
My life wasn't the same, not at all, but I understand the world making choices for you. I let it, for a long time. I didn't have a step-mother, but my guardian was my great-aunt, the Queen. She wasn't a nice lady, not in the slightest, and I was only "valuable" because she didn't have children of her own. She was an awful person (may she rest in peace), to me and to everyone else. But after she died, I wasn't exactly free, either. Poor Mako had to be my babysitter for years because no one knew what to do with me!
It's sort of the trick of Trench. You're given a new chance, but you don't get to choose if you want it or not. A lot of people don't. They would rather be back home, living the lives they had lived. But you aren't the only person I know here who died back home, who has a real second chance here. One of my best buddies, Chuck, he died back home, but here he has a nice farm with a very nice boyfriend, and they're happy here in a way they couldn't be back home.
What I'm saying is: You really can choose. And if you choose to be the same person you were at home, that's a valid choice you can make. But you can also use this new freedom to do something else. No one knows you here. No one but maybe me and whoever else you told this to, no one knows what you were. No one expects you to be anything, which is terrifying, but also so exciting.
I never wanted to be a king, and here I don't have to. I can run the Raccoon Room and be with Mako and play music and not get involved in any sort of politics unless I choose to. I wouldn't trade it for anything, even my own safety.
I think...in a way, I almost don't know how. Does that sound strange? For years and years I only ever wanted one thing, and now that I'm here I can't want it anymore. And it's like I've forgotten how to want anything else.
I don't have a Mako or a Chuck or even a Princess Fritter. So it's...it's just not easy. That doesn't mean I'm giving up. It's just that it's a harder prospect than people make it sound, sometimes.
How did you know what you wanted? Did you have to try a lot of things to figure it out, or did you just...know, somehow?
Well that sounds like an opportunity to me! Let's figure out what else you could want!!! And how you could want stuff again!!!!!
I didn't have them, either, before I was here. Well, I sort of had Mako, but not in the same way. And you have me!!! I'm not going to let you give up.
I tried a bunch of stuff. Back home I wanted to be a pop star! But I don't think I really wanted that. In Deerington, I tried to improve the town but boy people didn't want that. So I tried to make a safehouse for people. That went over pretty well, but it wasn't really, you know, my thing. I tried to figure out how to make a government for us Sleepers to keep us all aligned and safe, and that... was a bad idea, too!
Then when I got here, Fritter helped me find the Raccoon Room, and then I did just kind of know. But I don't think that would have happened without everything else.
I think trying things is great! Then you know what you like and what you don't like. And now, you can try bartending and see how that treats you!
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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So what's your world like? Spaceships? Knights and ladies? Cowboys?
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Oh, we have ships and cows and knights and ladies. Wizards, monsters. Witchers. Do you know what a witcher is? Most people don't seem to.
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Oh, that's very exciting! Witchers, is that anything like witches? But don't be too worried about it, most people haven't heard of any of the stuff from my world. Bending, and just all of the animals. I still can't believe that no one knows what a crococat is!
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I met a witcher before I came here. They're rare. And that one smelled bad.
What...IS a crococat?
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Well that's
good to know?
Crococats are
They're crococats!
They're small animals with lots of very sharp teeth, scales, and fluffy tails!
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So they're...cats? With scales and sharp teeth?
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Well, no. They're crococats. I suppose they are sort of like Earth cats, but they're also not, because they're crococats.
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[WELL OKAY THEN, RENFRI.]
You might have to draw me a picture, I'm afraid. I'm not very good at imagining it.
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wait
wait ]
You're dead?!?!?? That's the sort of thing you should tell a guy!
No wonder you think about him. I think about the guy who killed me way too much. I wish I could stop sometimes!
But it's not like dead-dead. It was here-dead. But even so. I'm sure dead-dead makes it even more awful.
I'm so sorry Renfri! I had no idea.
[ And he will in face do his best to draw a crococat, off screen ]
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What happened to you? Someone here killed you?
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Someone was possessed by the devil and found it fun to chase me through the streets and make me beg for my life before killing me.
[ That's really the most straight forward he's every said it. It's almost been a year since it happened, and apparently that's long enough ]
Another Sleeper, but he isn't here anymore, thankfully.
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It doesn't matter. A sword will kill anything it crosses; steel doesn't discriminate.
[Or silver, she thinks passingly, and swallows the thought back down.]
You'd tell me, if you were in danger from someone like that again?
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[ He's concerned, but he won't push, not quite yet. ]
If I can, I certainly will. That time, I wasn't given the chance to do anything about it. I almost got to Mako, but this man, he was just teasing me. I was almost at Mako's house when he grabbed me and we flew away, out to the outskirts of the town.
There was really nothing anyone could do. I hope I'm never in that situation again, but I've accepted that I might be.
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I've been the target before, and this was better, if deadlier. Well, maybe not "better" so to speak. It was less devastating because it wasn't about me, it wasn't because of who I am.
[ At least, that's what he likes to tell himself. ]
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Mako's not the only one you can run to now. You do know that?
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I can't exactly return the favor, but if you need anything else, you know you can ask me. You know, more than just a job.
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...It's strange, you know. Everyone here has had nothing but generosity for me, even though I've done nothing to warrant it. I don't quite know what to think of it, sometimes.
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Well, in the dream, it really felt like us Sleepers against the world. One of the first things I learned there is that Sleepers look out for each other. It isn't always true, but a lot of us really take it to heart. We've all had awful horrible things happen to us, that wasn't our fault at all. It's the fault of this place.
And you saved my from the snake! You didn't know me. You didn't have to. Are you sure you're not doing the same thing?
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[How dare he be so easy to like.]
I'm not used to counting on the generosity of others. Loyalty's one thing, but not kindness. And as for why I saved you...I don't know, really. Because it's what that witcher would've wanted, maybe. Me, being better than I'd been.
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Why would you do something he would want you to do?
But you said you're a princess. When I was a prince, my whole life was at the generosity of others. [ That's sure one way to talk about tax money, boo ] It was because of my title, sure, but even so. I was protected because of it.
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The world has never been kind to me, and more often than not I was unkind right back. I was always the only one looking out for my own survival, so...I was fine to leave others to look out for theirs. When everyone around you decides something about you, and treats you as though it's true...after a while, you stop wondering whether it's true or not, because it doesn't matter. You're being blamed for it whether you are it or not, so you might as well just embrace it. There comes a time when you just stop fighting it.
The man who killed me wanted me to give up the path my life was on, and start over, and be something better than what the world had made me. And I was tired of everyone else telling me what I was supposed to be, so I stayed what I had become, and he put me down.
Imagine how it felt to wash up here, surrounded by well-meaning people encouraging me to start over and be anything I wanted to be here in Trench. It felt like a horrible joke. Even dying hadn't gotten me out of the world making decisions for me.
...That was a lot, wasn't it. I shouldn't have rambled on, you needn't worry about it.
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My life wasn't the same, not at all, but I understand the world making choices for you. I let it, for a long time. I didn't have a step-mother, but my guardian was my great-aunt, the Queen. She wasn't a nice lady, not in the slightest, and I was only "valuable" because she didn't have children of her own. She was an awful person (may she rest in peace), to me and to everyone else. But after she died, I wasn't exactly free, either. Poor Mako had to be my babysitter for years because no one knew what to do with me!
It's sort of the trick of Trench. You're given a new chance, but you don't get to choose if you want it or not. A lot of people don't. They would rather be back home, living the lives they had lived. But you aren't the only person I know here who died back home, who has a real second chance here. One of my best buddies, Chuck, he died back home, but here he has a nice farm with a very nice boyfriend, and they're happy here in a way they couldn't be back home.
What I'm saying is: You really can choose. And if you choose to be the same person you were at home, that's a valid choice you can make. But you can also use this new freedom to do something else. No one knows you here. No one but maybe me and whoever else you told this to, no one knows what you were. No one expects you to be anything, which is terrifying, but also so exciting.
I never wanted to be a king, and here I don't have to. I can run the Raccoon Room and be with Mako and play music and not get involved in any sort of politics unless I choose to. I wouldn't trade it for anything, even my own safety.
I'm excited to see what you choose.
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I don't have a Mako or a Chuck or even a Princess Fritter. So it's...it's just not easy. That doesn't mean I'm giving up. It's just that it's a harder prospect than people make it sound, sometimes.
How did you know what you wanted? Did you have to try a lot of things to figure it out, or did you just...know, somehow?
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I didn't have them, either, before I was here. Well, I sort of had Mako, but not in the same way. And you have me!!! I'm not going to let you give up.
I tried a bunch of stuff. Back home I wanted to be a pop star! But I don't think I really wanted that. In Deerington, I tried to improve the town but boy people didn't want that. So I tried to make a safehouse for people. That went over pretty well, but it wasn't really, you know, my thing. I tried to figure out how to make a government for us Sleepers to keep us all aligned and safe, and that... was a bad idea, too!
Then when I got here, Fritter helped me find the Raccoon Room, and then I did just kind of know. But I don't think that would have happened without everything else.
I think trying things is great! Then you know what you like and what you don't like. And now, you can try bartending and see how that treats you!
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